“One of my goals has always been to write a book about my adventures,” says 51-year-old Maya’s Place graduate Tana Chavez.
A regular talk radio listener, last spring Tana heard a commercial about how to get a book published. She decided to call the number and get some more information.
After talking with a publishing representative, Tana sent her manuscript to Page Publishing with over 100 poems she’d written over the last 20 years. They reviewed her submission and decided to move forward with the project. Soon thereafter, Tana began working on the editing process with their publishing team.
Less than a year after making that first phone call to Page Publishing, Tana’s lifelong goal became a reality. Her first book, Breaking Down The Wall, was published on March 6, 2019. Breaking Down the Wall includes over 40 of Tana’s poems, which explore her addiction, road to recovery, and sexual identity.
“Being in my addiction I never finished things,” says Tana. “I wrote this book for me as a goal that I accomplished, something I saw through. I went all the way from beginning to end.”
Born in San Francisco, Tana moved to New Mexico at the age of seven to live on the San Felipe Pueblo with her parents and two brothers. Her first encounter with the law happened at the age of 23. She cycled in and out of jail for the next two decades while suffering from alcoholism and depression.
“It’s scary to have my book out there. I showed everything and I told a lot. I even showed my mug shots,” says Tana. “For my family to look at it and read it in print that I’m gay was really scary. But it’s ok. It’s out there now.”
“Being in my addiction I never finished things,” says Tana. “I wrote this book for me as a goal that I accomplished, something I saw through. I went all the way from beginning to end.”
Tana Chavez
Tana says struggling to come to terms with her sexual identity as a gay Native American woman drove her to drinking and wanting to escape. “I wasn’t comfortable with who I was,” says Tana. “There were times that I was like I can’t do this. Why me? Why did I come out like this? I wanted to die.”
Turning to poetry helped Tana work through her feelings of shame, guilt, and fear. She wrote most of her poems in the throws of addiction. “The next day when I’d sober up I’d read them,” says Tana. “Some of the poems I don’t even remember writing. My true feelings came out and some of them were very dark.”
Going through the book publishing process provided opportunities for Tana to reflect and marvel at her own personal growth. “Reading my poems was really eye opening because I didn’t think I had that ability,” says Tana. “I didn’t believe in myself. I didn’t think I was that intelligent.” She knows better now.
“I feel so much better about myself now. I’m happier. I feel less stress and weight on me. I feel free.”
Tana Chavez
After bouncing around California, Arizona, and Texas, Tana returned home to New Mexico in 2006. She entered the Maya’s Place program in 2011 and graduated in early 2012. “My family was really proud of me and happy that I made the decision to go to Maya’s Place. I got their trust back,” says Tana. “I’ve had my own apartment going on five years now which is a major accomplishment. It’s amazing what sobriety can do.”
Since graduating from Maya’s Place, Tana has obtained her associates degree in human services at CNM and is currently working to complete her bachelor’s degree. She works the night shift at Home Depot where she was recently honored as an all-star employee.
“I feel so much better about myself now,” says Tana. “I’m happier. I feel less stress and weight on me. I feel free.”
Written by Clarissa Earl
Tuesday, April 23, Crossroads for Women will host a Book Signing & Reading at 5:30pm in the group room at 805 Tijeras Ave NW. This event is free and open to the public. Books will be available to purchase for $16.95 (CASH ONLY).