Determined to break free from substance abuse and toxic relationships, Laura is working hard to heal and rebuild her life. At Crossroads she has found the support and resources she needs to aid in her ongoing transformation. This is her story of change and joy.
I am 28 years old and I have been in and out of New Mexico’s criminal justice system for 10 years. I have been an addict/alcoholic for most of my life. At the age of 11, I used drugs and alcohol for the first time. Of course, I didn’t realize my life would spiral out of control the way it did. Over time, I would come to understand that these harmful substances had become my best friends.
Unable to process all had that happened or to even imagine any other way, getting and staying numb–not wanting to see my life or feel the agony of it–became a habit. My addictions led to toxic relationships, criminal charges stemming from the mix of addiction and toxicity, and ultimately being identified as just a number. An inmate number.
In 2011, I spent three months at Maya’s Place. But, I was still so frightened of a life without substances, it didn’t ‘take,’ and I left the Crossroads for Women program thinking I could recover on my own. In 2013, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, Applemarie. But I was unable to sustain sobriety and healthy relationships. I reoffended in 2014 and found myself back in the criminal justice system. My daughter now calls my sister “Mommy.” It is hard to hear her call someone else “Mommy” even though I understand why she does.
May 16, 2016 was the day my perspective on how much I deserve in life changed. I started to think that I can’t keep trying to do things all by myself. Becoming a family member with Crossroads for Women has made a huge impact on my life’s journey. I get something out of each group because the groups aren’t about shame. They’re about learning, healing, and growing, and everyone supports everyone.
Every time I walk into Crossroads I feel inspiration and joy, and I feel a sense of real belonging. Every show of support I get from the people here makes me stronger. I’m motivated to work harder at my recovery and to live life by making better choices, choices that are informed by hard work, healing support, and the inspirational joy of belonging at Crossroads for Women.
Written by Laura Lopez