Carolyn never had a home of her own until she came to Crossroads for Women. Emancipated at the age of 17 and released to the streets of Albuquerque with no support or resources, Carolyn became addicted to Heroin and cycled in and out of prison for many years. This is her story of recovery and hope.
I am 59 years old, and my history with government-run institutions started at the age of 10 when, due to state intervention, I became part of the foster care system. At age 13, I was sent to live at the NM Girls Welfare Home. The property on which New Mexico’s CYFD is situated is where the NM Girls Welfare Home used to stand.
At 14, I was sent ‘home’ and was then quickly returned to the Girls Home after being deemed incorrigible by the court. I didn’t even understand what incorrigible meant.
I was emancipated through the courts from the Girls Home at age 17 and released to the streets of Albuquerque on my own. I was terrified. I had no idea what I was going to do or where I could go. My first arrest and subsequent incarceration happened within a year, when I was 18. When I was released, I was again released to the streets with nowhere to go and little idea what to do. I was homeless and did the things some humans do when trying to survive on the streets. I used heroin for about 40 years, and, in total, I have served time for 4 convictions.
In 2013 during my last prison stay, I attended an Addiction Treatment Program (ATP) in jail. Attending the ATP helped me learn a little about addition and its causes. I need to say that when you go into prison with a heroin addiction, unless you already have a formal medical diagnosis of addiction and a caregiver’s prescription, they don’t provide treatment medications (like methadone or naloxone). You go through detox…you ‘cold turkey’ it. A lot of women cold turkey it. I was homeless, had received no medical care, no prescription. Experiencing it yourself while also watching others experience it is brutal and unforgettable.
In 2014 after I was released again to the streets of Albuquerque, I began attending a local Narcotics Anonymous. Fortunately, a Crossroads for Women client attended the same group and suggested I work with their assistive housing and recovery program. I did, and I am so glad! I never had my own apartment until Crossroads for Women helped me. I am so very grateful to them because it is a wonderful, supportive program that does great work while encouraging me to do great work.
After so many years of being homeless, I’m still getting used to having my own place. Day by day it gets easier, though, and my participation in the supportive Crossroads for Women program—especially the Recovery Group and Circles of Hope Group that both address trauma—make a huge difference.
Written by Carolyn Trujillo